( this joke was found on the internet and has circulated and been forwarded many times over via email. foreigners planning to marry Filipinos should note that these are exaggerations, but they will somehow get an idea. it was written by an American man who loves his Filipina wife despite what follows. )  i choose to copy some article that i can relate from weddings@work...

You may be married to a Filipina if.... 

• your refrigerator is always full but you cannot find any food that you recognize.
• you are expected to be able to read her mind just by watching her eyebrows move up & down & which way her lips are pointed.
• all her relatives think your name is joe
• the instant you are married you have 3000 new close relatives that you cant tell
•  apart
• all desserts are sticky and all the snacks are salty
• she eats her fruit with giant salt crystals and her fried chicken with ketchup
• you throw a party and everyone is fighting to chop the leathery skin off a dead pig
• you try to call her up on the phone and someone tells you "for a while"and you want to know "for a while,what"
• you are trying to go to sleep and she keeps asking for the comFORT'r and you ain't got a clue what she's talking about
• you phone bills are all international and average 3hours per call.
• she sweeps with something that witches usually fly around on 
• on your first trip to the Philippines, you have 18 giant boxes that weigh 1000 pounds each and your "carry on" luggage requires a small forklift truck
  
• the same luggage is over filled with things that cost an average of 15 cents each like old magazines and M&Ms--the worst part is when you get off the plane, the same stuff you've been hauling around half way around the world is available in every store in the airport for half the price.
• the first time she's pregnant you have to go out at 4:00 am looking around for some weird type of greasy sausages, green mangoes and bagoong
  
• her favorite sauce is called patis, Americans call it turpentine.
  
• her idea of new upholstery is rinsing the bagoong stains out of the slip cover
  
• her favorite meal is leaftover, her favorite fancy dessert is jello mold and for something REALLY romantic, she'll offer you a halo-halo with 2 straws
  
• other than eyebrow raising and lip puckering, her next most expressive form of communication is grunts & psst's
  
• she goes to the movies just for the AC.
• her homeland has more Megamalls than islands.
  
• before every holiday and visit, her sister fax you 10 page "bilin" list which says "suggestion only."
• you kitchen table has a merry-go-round in the middle.
  
• your in-law's first visit lasted 5 years.
• her home economics course only taught shopping, eating and siesta; cooking, cleaning and sewing were not electives.
  
• her idea of edifying reading is gossip magazines.
• all your place settings has the silverware backwards and there are no knives.
• she washes her hair with bucket and her car with a broom.
• she uses an umbrella even if its not raining.
• she's done her best job planning a surprise party for you if she manages not to tell you about it until a week or two before.